Make Em Laugh

Or in CBS case, sound like they swallowed....their tongues. Guys like that have shit on guys like me their whole lives. Remember, America? Remember the mean, snotty QB running into you in the hallway? He was just as scared as you, only bigger and meaner. I'm here to tell you, there's a new sheriff in town. And he doesn't like mean. Gay, yes. Mean and arrogant, no. Watch the fuck out


Lines overheard tonight:


"I'd like to thank the people who made tonight necessary"

"The Ghost of Mark Henderson" - America's prison population celebrates their greatest victory

"We're all Billy Cundiffs tonight. Wait, Jim. Don't take my mic, bro"

"We're gonna retire a #404 jersey next year against the Giants, preseason. Just gotta find a XXXL"

"Why don't we get bloggers like that on our team?"

"Wide left"

"Eliminate the drugs and your decision making goes way up, America"

"Next"