Metta Fuck You Up
What the NBA needs is a good brawl. Mutherfuckers is too chummy with each other. Fuck that shit. Get bad, man. You think Isiah and Magic ever hugged (or worse) pregame? Fuck no, they played balls to the wall. Full tilt, full time, mutherfucker!
I can see it now...
MIKE BROWN diagrams Metta's attack on Blake in the first Clips Fakers game at The Fabulous Forum. (what?)
Blake goes up for a layup, Metta collar bones him to the floor. Blake gets up. After a couple of minutes. Goes after Metta. Metta lays Blake the fuck out. Stands over him and spits on him. Me likee.
Steve Blake rushes ontu the scene: "All is well! All is well!" Mitch is on the phone, calling up dudes in the D-League: "Can you fight?" Jeanie gets excited. Jerry looks right, looks left, sighs. Chris Paul tries to act as The Peacemaker, fails. "Fuck it! Get some!" Lays Pau the fuck out. Good one, Chrissie! Caron hits Metta in the back of the head with a chair! Cheapshot, asshole! Go the fuck back to Africa, retard! Kobe? Bathroom emergency j-u-s-t before fight breaks out. Vinny takes his blade out, cuts some mutherfuckers bad, Springfield style. THEN all hell breaks loose. Dancing Fairy comes down from the Uecker seats. Leo gets excited. Steven is doing that weird hand thing that all "great" directors do. Chris Rock tells the guys he's sitting next to, "You ever wonder how fights like this start? They should put this fucking fight on layaway." Charlize cries out, "So THIS is what a basketball game is like! Me likee!" Arsenio heads for the exit, butt quick. Fights in the stands. Fights on the court. Fights in the luxury suites! It's like a Mel Brooks movie! Jack TAKES HIS SHADES OFF! Shades underneath! Penny eats another handful of popcorn, yawns. Garry tries to cheer her up. Denzel sneers. "I beat Ray Allen, children." Dyan Cannon looks lovely, as always. And is having a blast. Flea jumps on Blake, eye gouging and tit pulling. Flea bad! Dre runs off, goes to studio, finally finishes third song on his "new" album.
I can see it now...
MIKE BROWN diagrams Metta's attack on Blake in the first Clips Fakers game at The Fabulous Forum. (what?)
Blake goes up for a layup, Metta collar bones him to the floor. Blake gets up. After a couple of minutes. Goes after Metta. Metta lays Blake the fuck out. Stands over him and spits on him. Me likee.
Steve Blake rushes ontu the scene: "All is well! All is well!" Mitch is on the phone, calling up dudes in the D-League: "Can you fight?" Jeanie gets excited. Jerry looks right, looks left, sighs. Chris Paul tries to act as The Peacemaker, fails. "Fuck it! Get some!" Lays Pau the fuck out. Good one, Chrissie! Caron hits Metta in the back of the head with a chair! Cheapshot, asshole! Go the fuck back to Africa, retard! Kobe? Bathroom emergency j-u-s-t before fight breaks out. Vinny takes his blade out, cuts some mutherfuckers bad, Springfield style. THEN all hell breaks loose. Dancing Fairy comes down from the Uecker seats. Leo gets excited. Steven is doing that weird hand thing that all "great" directors do. Chris Rock tells the guys he's sitting next to, "You ever wonder how fights like this start? They should put this fucking fight on layaway." Charlize cries out, "So THIS is what a basketball game is like! Me likee!" Arsenio heads for the exit, butt quick. Fights in the stands. Fights on the court. Fights in the luxury suites! It's like a Mel Brooks movie! Jack TAKES HIS SHADES OFF! Shades underneath! Penny eats another handful of popcorn, yawns. Garry tries to cheer her up. Denzel sneers. "I beat Ray Allen, children." Dyan Cannon looks lovely, as always. And is having a blast. Flea jumps on Blake, eye gouging and tit pulling. Flea bad! Dre runs off, goes to studio, finally finishes third song on his "new" album.
posted by joe sweeney at 3:45 AM
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