Commissioner Dave Is Very Happy With You Guys
The Big East is incredible this year. Just incredible. For the very last time.
Top to bottom, the best conference in the history of D1, methinks.
Top Slot
'Cuse A slew of really good players. I think Fab is even getting it. When is Christmas going to show up? Maybe, if he's not there in mid January, I was wrong about him. Everyone else is good. Are they good enough to win 6? I don't think so, but I'm wrong a lot.
UConn I think this team can win it again, most def. Most def. Really good players everywhere and a young Chris Webber playalike in Dre. Just hope Dre is a smarter player than Chris. Remember how many fucking timeouts ya got, Dre. Seriously. Everyone on this team, I like watching. What's up with Roscoe? Why isn't he better? He's got everything.
Second Tier
Louisville Similar to Boeheim's squad in that they are really good everywhere but with no lottery picks. I like the way the freshman plays. He plays hard and well. They're good. A potential Final Four team, without question.
Hoyas Everyone wants to know how good the Hoyas really are. I don't know either, but I know Coach Little John knows offense and defense. His teams score the fucking ball always and always play hard and together. I guess beating up a thousand chinks does a body good. Count me in next time, Coach.
Third Tier
WVU Coach Bob always has serious talent. How many 6 8 mutherfuckers can go to one school? This team is good, not great. Look out tonight in Hartford. It might be signal of how good the Mountaineers really are.
Pitt Choke Artist U is falling apart early this year. Bunch of pussies, like most black dudes.
UC More brawls in sports, less gunplay. A good punch in the (now broken) nose does a boy good. UC is always good, since McClendon left town and Huggins arrived from Akron. No Final Four for Cincinnati Mick, but they can play and win some games.
Seton Hall I haven't seen these guys play yet, but I KNOW they are good offensively. They always are. Do they extend themselves in their own end? Do they? Will they? That's always the question at Seton Hall. Cool unis.
Golden Domers Bunch of no-names. Got rid of the kid with zits, apparently. I would have pulled his boat, too. Fucker was gross. Bad for Digger's image, which matters to Digger and no one else. Coach Mike Brey always wins 20. Not 25. 20. This year, too.
Johnnies Cancer not good for basketball coach. Apparently. Dying? Good career move for actors. But cancer not so much for anyone. Ask Andy Kaufman.
Marquette Good unis. Used to be GREAT in Al's time. Did you guys know D-Wade was a recruiting afterthought, basically? It can happen to anyone, men. Anyone. I haven't given up on you, Vander Blue. Those recruiting services are never wrong. Right, Avery?
Fourth Tier
Rutgers at home The Scarlet Knights always beat someone good at that pissy old gym. This year is no exception. But NJ fans are great. Win on the road in a hostile place and I'll be impressed. Same old Rutgers, no matter who coaches. And remember, "Fast" Eddie was sarcasm. Dude was 3/4 Anglo.
Nova when Jay is Wright What has happened to the Cats? What happened to this school? I thought Coach Jay was gonna pull a UCLA and get to three FFs in a row or some such. He pulled a UCLA alright.
Fifth Tier
USF I know nothing about this shithole. But they beat some good teams every year. A football school in a football state.
DePaul Dallas Comegys U could be good again, but kids are on to Oliver. No matter how much he makes, he ain't recruiting Chicago AAU. No way, no how. How do you recruit Chicago AAU? No idea. Ask Lou Do.
Providence this year Look out world. They finally hired a black dude to coach somewhere other than the nation's capital. Howz that workin' out fer ya? Good. Good.
Rutgers on the road They suck on the road. Why? No fine New jersey cuisine in Boston or Manhattan or DC. Yeah.
Top to bottom, the best conference in the history of D1, methinks.
Top Slot
'Cuse A slew of really good players. I think Fab is even getting it. When is Christmas going to show up? Maybe, if he's not there in mid January, I was wrong about him. Everyone else is good. Are they good enough to win 6? I don't think so, but I'm wrong a lot.
UConn I think this team can win it again, most def. Most def. Really good players everywhere and a young Chris Webber playalike in Dre. Just hope Dre is a smarter player than Chris. Remember how many fucking timeouts ya got, Dre. Seriously. Everyone on this team, I like watching. What's up with Roscoe? Why isn't he better? He's got everything.
Second Tier
Louisville Similar to Boeheim's squad in that they are really good everywhere but with no lottery picks. I like the way the freshman plays. He plays hard and well. They're good. A potential Final Four team, without question.
Hoyas Everyone wants to know how good the Hoyas really are. I don't know either, but I know Coach Little John knows offense and defense. His teams score the fucking ball always and always play hard and together. I guess beating up a thousand chinks does a body good. Count me in next time, Coach.
Third Tier
WVU Coach Bob always has serious talent. How many 6 8 mutherfuckers can go to one school? This team is good, not great. Look out tonight in Hartford. It might be signal of how good the Mountaineers really are.
Pitt Choke Artist U is falling apart early this year. Bunch of pussies, like most black dudes.
UC More brawls in sports, less gunplay. A good punch in the (now broken) nose does a boy good. UC is always good, since McClendon left town and Huggins arrived from Akron. No Final Four for Cincinnati Mick, but they can play and win some games.
Seton Hall I haven't seen these guys play yet, but I KNOW they are good offensively. They always are. Do they extend themselves in their own end? Do they? Will they? That's always the question at Seton Hall. Cool unis.
Golden Domers Bunch of no-names. Got rid of the kid with zits, apparently. I would have pulled his boat, too. Fucker was gross. Bad for Digger's image, which matters to Digger and no one else. Coach Mike Brey always wins 20. Not 25. 20. This year, too.
Johnnies Cancer not good for basketball coach. Apparently. Dying? Good career move for actors. But cancer not so much for anyone. Ask Andy Kaufman.
Marquette Good unis. Used to be GREAT in Al's time. Did you guys know D-Wade was a recruiting afterthought, basically? It can happen to anyone, men. Anyone. I haven't given up on you, Vander Blue. Those recruiting services are never wrong. Right, Avery?
Fourth Tier
Rutgers at home The Scarlet Knights always beat someone good at that pissy old gym. This year is no exception. But NJ fans are great. Win on the road in a hostile place and I'll be impressed. Same old Rutgers, no matter who coaches. And remember, "Fast" Eddie was sarcasm. Dude was 3/4 Anglo.
Nova when Jay is Wright What has happened to the Cats? What happened to this school? I thought Coach Jay was gonna pull a UCLA and get to three FFs in a row or some such. He pulled a UCLA alright.
Fifth Tier
USF I know nothing about this shithole. But they beat some good teams every year. A football school in a football state.
DePaul Dallas Comegys U could be good again, but kids are on to Oliver. No matter how much he makes, he ain't recruiting Chicago AAU. No way, no how. How do you recruit Chicago AAU? No idea. Ask Lou Do.
Providence this year Look out world. They finally hired a black dude to coach somewhere other than the nation's capital. Howz that workin' out fer ya? Good. Good.
Rutgers on the road They suck on the road. Why? No fine New jersey cuisine in Boston or Manhattan or DC. Yeah.
posted by joe sweeney at 2:40 AM
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